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Ask Lyn About Pets: Why Is My Child Hurting the Cat?

12/7/2014

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When Kids Mistreat Animals

by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer
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A frequent reader contacted "Ask Lyn" for advice on this common scenario. You hear a pitiful mew and notice your toddler has the cat by her tail - again. Just two hours earlier you scolded him for doing the same thing. Why is your child hurting the cat and what can you do to stop this behavior? My years of experience as a mom and nanny have shown me several answers to this question.

Why did my child hurt the cat to begin with and what does it all mean? It may simply be a misunderstanding on your child's part or it could mean something deeper. In most kids, it simply means a lack of understanding how to behave with an animal. The ASPCA states that some adults who have been violent toward people also have a history of being violent toward animals. Children who have been exposed to violence also may attempt to show violence toward an animal. It is safer for your pets, as well as your child, to correct the behavior as soon as possible. It is important to remember that just because your child does this, it does not necessarily mean it's intentional or that she will be violent with animals or people in the future.

He doesn't know any better. Has your child been told why pulling a cat's tail or petting him backward is not a good idea? When you warn your child about these and other ill actions toward the cat, don't just say "No". Explain why it's not a good idea. Your child may see the family pet as a toy and not a living being. Some kids need reasons behind requests. You also need to explain things in terms that make sense to your child. A 3 year old will understand that pulling fur feels the same to a cat that pulling hair does to a human.

She hasn't been exposed to animals previously. If your child has never been exposed to animals before, especially cats, that could explain her actions. When a child hurts a cat, it doesn't necessarily mean she is being mean. She just may not have any history to tell her brain what the proper behavior is toward a cat. Ideally, parents should expose children to pets before adopting them. If it's too late for that, limit your child's exposure to the pet until she understands and demonstrates proper cat treatment.

Use gentle guidance and redirection. If you want your child to stop hurting your cat, you'll need to take a look at the whole picture. Exposing him to animals is the proactive end of the stick. But if the behavior has already started, you may also need to be reactive. Each time your child pulls the cat's tail, pets him backward, or otherwise treats him unfairly, use gentle redirection. Gently take his hand and use it to pet the cat slowly and gently. Say things like, "This is how we pet the kitty." "The kitty likes it when we do this." "Ooh, feel how soft the kitty's fur is."

Be consistent. Whether you choose to use the same methods I found useful or another method, the key in making it work is consistency. In order for the lesson to sink in, you need to act the same way each time your child is around the cat. If you use gentle guidance only sometimes and let it slide the rest of the time, this sends a mixed message to your child. What it says is that she only has to treat the cat nice sometimes, which is not what you want to teach her.

 If your child cannot treat the cat properly, you may have to separate the two for safety on both counts.

*The above is meant for informational purposes only. Always ask your pediatrician and veterinarian for guidance in your specific situation.

*I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network

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Positive Parenting: Teaching Kids to Interact With Cats

11/1/2014

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by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer
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Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved
That sweet fuzzy face separated from you by glass is pulling at your heartstrings. Your child is also attached. But before adopting, kids need to learn about cat care and how to relate to them. Interacting positively with cats holds great benefits for the kids, as well as the animal. Our family will be adopting a cat soon, but we wouldn't dream of doing so without preparation.

When they hold a cat for the first time, show and explain how. Show your child what to do by picking up the cat up yourself. While doing this explain what you are doing and why. Talk about wrong ways to hold the cat as well. You can illustrate the lesson to your child further by talking about how they would prefer to be held and why it matters. Your child needs to know that cats will get hurt or irritated if they are held a certain way. Many cats love attention when they are held the right way, so a large part of interacting with cats is holding them.

Focus on being gentle. This is one of the most important things kids need to know about interacting with cats and other animals. If your child is gentle, cats will respond more positively to their attention. If your kids are younger, you can take their hand and direct them into petting a cat gently. Older kids should need only your verbal direction. Let them know what is and is not gentle. For instance, even if you do it softly, petting a cat backward is not gentle because of the way it feels to a cat.

Explain what certain sounds and behaviors mean.
Cats will make certain sounds or act a particular way, depending on how they feel. Kids should know that hissing means the cat feels threatened and they should stay away. Growling means the same thing. Purring means keep doing what you're doing. The cat is enjoying it. If a cat runs away or hides, that means the child should leave them be. Rubbing up against a person means a cat likes that person and wants attention. Show your child how to pay attention to a cat's cues and react based on that. For instance, if a cat starts to move around while being held, the child should gently set the cat down.

Test them around other people's pets, as well as those in shelters. This is going to be your key indicator of what your child needs to know about cats. It will also help you teach them how to properly interact. Cats will vary by breed, as well as individual personality. Let your kids play with other people's cats, having each person explain what their cat likes and dislikes. It's also a good idea to do this at an animal shelter or rescue. This way, you give a needy cat attention and you also help teach your child. Then, if your child bonds with the cat, you can see about adopting.

Allow them consistent exposure and practice.
In order to fully illustrate how to interact with cats, allow your child practice as often as possible. If no one you know owns any cats, animal shelters and rescues are the perfect opportunity for this. Just make sure to only give attention to the cats who are open to it. My kids have become experts at getting even the most timid cats to open up because of consistently giving cats attention at our local animal rescue and shelter. This, along with other things, shows me they are ready to adopt and care for a cat responsibly.

*I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network

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